Don’t Joke about Chuck Norris…Except a Little

  • Chuck Norris once sneezed while on the Atlantic. The result was Hurrican Katrina.
  • Chuck Norris buys his cereal at Home Depot.
  • A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Chuck Norris made his power available psychically. The Jedi called this the Force.
  • Thor’s hammer was forged by Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris frisks airport security.
  • Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  • The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was Chuck Norris. The President decided to go the humane route.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ preschool art projects.
  • The devil once sold his soul to Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris invented texting while he was driving.
  • Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  • Chuck Norris gives Life lemons and lemons make him lemonade.
  • Chuck Norris can use Flash on an iPad.
  • Chuck Norris once tapped Captain America’s shield to get a feel for it. It shattered into 365 billion pieces.
  • Chuck Norris fools April.
  • Chuck Norris can text on a landline.
  • Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, and scissors.
  • Chuck Norrs can win the 4-minute-mile in 3 minutes. Underwater.
  • Chuck Norris once took the Cinnamon Challenge with a pound of cinnamon. The cinnamon coughed up blood and died.
  • TNT was originally developed to cure Chuck Norris’ indigestion.
  • Chuck Norris uses a lawnmower to shave.
  • Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. Then only difference: then he kills people.
  • Santa asks Chuck Norris for presents. He gets death.
  • The Coke secret ingredient is Chuck Norris’ approval.
  • Chuck Norris can flush the Super Bowl.
  • Chuck Norris once entered a maze, and the maze got lost.

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So what do you think?