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Chuck Norris once sneezed while on the Atlantic. The result was Hurrican Katrina.
Chuck Norris buys his cereal at Home Depot.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Chuck Norris made his power available psychically. The Jedi called this the Force.
Thor’s hammer was forged by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris frisks airport security.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was Chuck Norris. The President decided to go the humane route.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ preschool art projects.
The devil once sold his soul to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented texting while he was driving.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris gives Life lemons and lemons make him lemonade.
Chuck Norris can use Flash on an iPad.
Chuck Norris once tapped Captain America’s shield to get a feel for it. It shattered into 365 billion pieces.
Chuck Norris fools April.
Chuck Norris can text on a landline.
Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, and scissors.
Chuck Norrs can win the 4-minute-mile in 3 minutes. Underwater.
Chuck Norris once took the Cinnamon Challenge with a pound of cinnamon. The cinnamon coughed up blood and died.
TNT was originally developed to cure Chuck Norris’ indigestion.
Chuck Norris uses a lawnmower to shave.
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. Then only difference: then he kills people.
Santa asks Chuck Norris for presents. He gets death.
The Coke secret ingredient is Chuck Norris’ approval.
Chuck Norris can flush the Super Bowl.
Chuck Norris once entered a maze, and the maze got lost.